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The Relationship Corner: Friends With Benefits

The Relationship Corner: Friends With Benefits 


Friends With Benefits.... They even made a movie about this type of arrangement. However, as simple as it sounds, it has its disadvantages. Signals can get crossed and flipped. Intentions can not match up. It starts out as just sex, right? Somebody you're comfortable with perhaps that you decide to take things further with, or just an agreed upon agreement between two consenting adults. Sometimes, you don't even realize that you're in a FWB situation, just hooking up with the same person regularly and boom, there it is. Well today, I have Erika F(@curlsandsports) here with me as we bring our opinions on this topic, and whether or not its a good idea. I'll leave the floor to her for the moment.

@CurlsandSports(Erika F)
You may think that having a “friends with benefits” relationship is a good idea, but in essence, it’s really not. Movies, TV shows, and real life experiences have told you to steer away from it but even so, many folks still fall into the strings and the web of a friends with benefits relationship.

The first TV show that I think tackled this issue was Seinfeld. Fans of the show should be able to recall that Jerry and Elaine came up with a series of limits and rules. What happened? It didn’t work out and it’s not because of a female or a male thing; having this relationship just doesn’t work out at all. Someone will always catch feelings and hey, a relationship isn’t what the other person wants. BUT, there’s nothing worse than seeing your friend with benefit in a relationship with someone else. How dare they! They dared because clearly that person offered them something else other than some booty. It’s the cold truth and it’s time that you face it.

The idea of having a friends with benefit relationship sounds like a good idea in theory but in reality, it opens a door and hides certain feelings like the fact that you want a relationship with someone special. Don’t you just wish you had that? We all do and when you find that, it makes it even more worth while. I'm not saying that you shouldn’t experience this, but just don’t get your hopes up and think that this is going to turn into a relationship.

It’s just sex and if you don’t want that, then keep it moving.

-Erika

@TrueGodImmortal 
To piggyback off what Erika said, yes, I'd love someone special. A relationship for me would be ideal, if I could find the right woman for me. My life seems to be full of women who aren't either relationship material(aka not my type) with me, or things are just not in the cards at the moment. I'm able to have a grasp on my feelings for the most part, so I am an advocate for a Friends With Benefits situation. In 2 years of being single, I've basically just done FWB type situations, when I wasn't acting an ass and having a one night stand here or there. So, I have had friends with benefits in the past and as far as I'm concerned, those arrangements were very one sided. Why? Well I can keep an handle on my emotions and not get too sucked into the person that I crave more. There were women who after the first few times, started to want more and that made for an awkward situation and bad ending.

I think having a FWB is perfectly fine because we all have needs sexually. Maybe there is someone who can't meet your needs in a relationship context but you guys have amazing sex together. By all means, roll with that and have fun, but remember: its just fun. Summer flings are initially the most popular form of FWB situations, and hell I'll probably find myself in one this summer(I am already in one now as I write this pretty much). However, those don't last. They rarely end well, and that's just it period: they end. Either your FWB turns into a full fledged relationship or it ends one sided with someone catching a ton of feelings and emotions. My advice?

Have fun. If you're in a FWB situation, prepare yourself for a possible abrupt end. Maybe your FWB decides to find someone else, maybe they want more and you don't(or vice versa). Just be prepared. And realistic. Otherwise, as I've said, have great sex and most of all, enjoy yourself.

-True 



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