The Relationship Corner Roundtable: Interracial Dating

Social media is quite possibly the biggest tool that can be utilized today for getting your opinion across. One topic of discussion that always comes up is interracial dating, from the side of two extremes usually. Today, we attempt to gather individuals from different walks of life, different perspectives to discuss this topic. There are no right or wrong answers here, only civil opinions on what seems to be a sensitive subject for many. Step into the DAR Roundtable realm, where all are welcomed... As well as their opinions.

White boys in the past have always been something for me to “oogle” at. Never in my life have I ever considered dating one.  Growing up I was an “oreo” internally. I used to have white boys plastered all over my bedroom walls, with a little color from Immature here and there.  I was that token black girl friend, but my boyfriends were always black.  A white man has never got my pussy wet. Not even a little bit.  I don’t want to be close-minded and say that its in my DNA.  Its how we are all made, to not be attracted to any color but the one we were born with, but I don’t necessarily believe that. God knew what he was doing when he made me and he knew how I would be once I was an adult. There is not a white man in the world that could match the vibrations I put out. Although I was a “white girl” growing up, the energy I was putting out was “soul sistah #1 black girl”. Don’t let the suburbs I grew up in fool you. I was molded for a strong intelligent black man that would fight for me and by me.  I need a little color on my canvas.  Nothing like a strong sweaty hard working black man to get my juices flowing.

My views on interracial dating are supportive. Love is love. Love has no race or gender boundaries in my eyes. Although I'm very supportive of interracial dating, I'm also reluctant to give it a shot myself. I see social media glorifying it and making the love seem forced or not existing at all. As long as the LOVE is real, I say go for it.

Me personally? I've never been attracted to women outside of my race. I can't speak from experience, but I can offer my support for love that's real and genuine. If an interracial couple is in love, they have my support and respect regardless.

At the end of the day, everyone can fuck whoever they want. If any of y'all know who I am, y'all know I'm M-Dee the man aka King Mike and I make mulatto babies. Nothing justifies telling a person who they are allowed to love or lust for.

If you decide to only pursue those of the same race, religion or gang affiliation, thats good for you and I wish you the best. I personally need variety in my vagina buffet. Anyone who feels interracial relationships are some type of fetish is claiming that being attracted to one of a different ethnicity is unnatural, and that's some real dumb, ignorant racist shit. "Dowhatchalike" as Shock G said, and worry about who you're fucking, not who anyone else is. I think it might be good for human evolution too. Peace.

My dealings with non-"black" women have mostly been the same as with white women. We meet, either through mutual friends or the internet (yay OKCupid). After talking, we go out, we turn up, we (potentially) fuck and, if I don't just see our relationship as dick in pussy, we continue to do this, exploring our common interests, goals, ways to better ourselves, etc. If it doesn't work, then I take my losses like a man, because 'Murica.
I've never felt odd dating someone who was "racially" different than me. That's not because I don't see color, because even the most colorblind person still sees some sort of "color." It's a societal construct ingrained into our psyches. I just look at it on some "we're all pink on the inside" shit. But, that's also probably because I supposedly have some semblance of a sex addiction, if you let the quacks tell it.

Where was I? Oh, yes. Things with non-"black" and "black" women, for me, haven't really been that much different. Sexually, it isn't really that much of a difference either. However, I have noticed that non-"black" women, specifically white women, have been enamored with me sexually. Then again, I've also been with countless women (not to brag, as I kind of feel a little eh about it, even though I fully embraced my manwhore phase). So, after a while, unless she's the one, they all seem similar to some degree.

I really don't have a problem with it. The problem is with people who do it for the wrong reasons. A fetish or out of spite. "I dated this race of women, they fucked me over so I'm going to go to this race of woman" Like that isn't cool. Then muthafuckas want to do it as a fetish. "Yeah bruh, I got me a foreign bitch", like nigga, do you want a trophy or do you want a girlfriend? Make up your mind. Me, I personally tried it. It was cool, but you can't beat the originals, if you catch my drift. Black women are the only ones I want, need, like, and plan to be with. Period. My biggest issue is people who date outside of their race and then put their own race of women down and leave them to become the butt of many unnecessary jokes. But, hey, more power to y'all and your lil girlfriends.

Growing up, I was one of the few white people in my neighborhood. Surprise, I know. The area I grew up in is actually known for its racial diversity, with residents hailing from damn near every country in the world. When time came for dating, race never played a role in the decision making process. Not only had I grown up with many different races, interracial dating wasn't a taboo or rare thing around me. As far as my family goes, there wasn't any pressure for me to date inside my own race or against me dating someone of another. With friends, there were always a couple jokes in good fun about how I wouldn't ever be able to find "a nice white boy", but there was never a time I felt like my peers looked down on interracial dating. Hell, some of them were doing so as well and plenty of them were of mixed race themselves.

As an adult, there have been times that my mixed race son, my ex and I got some side eyes in public. There were even times people would ask me if I "prefer to date interracially." (Choosing a mate strictly because of their race is ridiculous, and probably a whole different discussion.) Either way, I've never been interested in focusing on the race of a person I'm considering dating anymore than I'm interested in focusing on the color of their eyes or hair. I guess you can say it's semantics, to me. The elements of the way I was raised instilled a sense of idealism that is almost bittersweet. I tend to stray from social constructs and blah blah. I was brought up with the understanding that we all come from somewhere unique and we should celebrate our differences. It might sound cliche or corny but the deciding factors in who I choose to be with have always been my personal attraction to them and that person's affect on my happiness and growth as a person.

The way I view dating, more importantly interracial dating, is simple. Dating is dating and if you have a connection with a person, it shouldn’t matter what race you are, and your race shouldn’t impact who you decide to date. If you are a certain race and you want to date someone from another race then that shouldn’t be frowned upon, but unfortunately in the society we live in, we are often told that if you are white (like in my case), then you should only date other white people. But I have always felt that that is a load of crap because if you meet someone that happens to be a different race and you take a liking to that person, then the only thing that matters is that you have a connection with said person. You may get looks from other people while in public that will say “well this person shouldn’t date this person and this person shouldn’t date that person” and that’s fine, but at the end of the day it’s up to you and what you are comfortable with. Being true to yourself is the most important thing and ultimately that’s what this is.

I am really unsure why the topic of interracial dating has to be an issue, but at the same time I understand why it is. At first, it struck me as crazy that we even have to discuss this to begin with. As if who someone loves or dates has anything to do with anyone outside of the relationship. But it does make you stop, think and remember that other cultures outside the U.S, as well as within, do not follow the same mold of thinking. Arranged marriages are still a tradition in some places and that pretty much goes without saying that the marriage is within the same race.

I personally don't see the harm in interracial dating. I love it, I endorse it and often date outside my race. But, what I think only matters to me. What you think should only matter to you. What is irritating about the subject of interracial dating is how many feel the need to voice their opinion, often in a negative light, about how they feel about it or pretend to be the voice of an entire race. Was your opinion asked for? Does your opinion matter to interracial couples? Why do you have an issue with it?

"Why do these white women feel the need to steal all of our good black men?" "She's only with him to piss off her dad." "She's just his arm candy/trophy wife." "I just wanted to see what it was like to date a INSERT RACE HERE."  We've all heard the statements, or ones like them, before. I've been asked why I date white guys millions of times before. And asked in ways as if that is the only race I am interested in, which is not the case. I believe people can have a preference without it being racist. And sometimes it IS racist. But when does it become seen as racism? When you ONLY date a certain race outside of your race?

A few months ago I had a conversation with a black friend about interracial dating and his view seemed to be that he enjoyed dating women of other race but that the one he saw himself getting serious with was a black woman. The general idea that other races were fine to date but that's it. A fun, exotic adventure(my interpretation, not his exact words), but that in the end his beliefs made him prefer women of his own race. What about those with mixed backgrounds? Is it only an issue when blacks and whites date? Does anyone make it an issue when an English man and an Irish women walk down the street together holding hands?

Opposites attract, but do they really? Don't forget to tweet us YOUR responses. Lots of questions were posed here and we want to hear back.

I saved my opinion for last on this topic and that's because I wanted to see everyone's perspective. I am essentially known and seen as a pro-black artist/person and a lot of people have seen me sort of dismiss white women as "trash" via social media, thus making what I am about to say even funnier in essence. My personal opinion on interracial dating is similar to others in the sense of "love who you love". One cannot truly dictate who they have a connection with, who they are vibing with, and race shouldn't necessarily limit you. I've always believed that the woman I end up dating would be a black woman honestly, and that hasn't changed. I am mostly attracted to black women of all shades, but I admit that I've had encounters with women of other races, including white women. 

My personal experience with white women have been good and bad at various times, and while white women have never been my first choice, I try to be open minded. My upbringing may have something to do with my preference however. I used to observe beautiful black women often and even watching TV, the black women celebrities struck me more than the other races. In my environment, we just gravitated to the Halle Berrys, the Lela Rochons, the Nia Longs, and we weren't really checking for the Julia Roberts or Pamela Anderson types. Admittedly, as I got to my later high school years, I took a liking to more "exotic" and even Latina women, but I have grown to appreciate beauty in all races. In the past 2 years of being single, I've expanded my dating and I've been involved with women of every race essentially(think the race/nationality box on applications for clarification.... Just saying) and there isn't much of a difference(all women are crazy regardless of race anyway). However, for me personally, I rarely find a white woman that I have much in common with. While the sex may be fun or they may have decent convo, the level of understanding isn't truly there. The warmth, the understanding, and just the connection with a black woman is the strongest thing in the world. That hasn't stopped me from having fun with women of other races, but it just doesn't go farther than physical and/or friends. So, I partake in interracial "dating", but never seriously. I likely never will and that's fine. What works for me may not work for you, and that's the beauty of life and dating in general. 

I am aware that some interracial dating can be less than genuine and only done to fulfill some of forbidden fantasy or have a trophy. I don't encourage that type of situation, as it feel it can be detrimental and reeks of something. There are some people who only see dating or fucking another race as a fetish and I've always found that weird. There's probably deeper connotations to that and I'm almost certain there is, but that varies by case. 

In closing, date who you want. Date who you enjoy. I'd just hope those reasons for you dating said person, regardless of race, are genuine and honest. This entire roundtable was just a way to take a topic overblown and done over by many others and show that people of different races and backgrounds can have this discussion civilly. Be sure to join the conversation with us, if you would like. 



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