The Relationship Corner: So Called 90 Day Rule




@CurlsAndSports
90 days sure do fly by fast. So when you potentially meet somebody new that sparks your interest, chances are you're going to be on Cloud 9. The outings are fun and you genuinely love being around this person. It's a fun place to be especially when you feel a connection with that somebody.

The next uncomfortable topic would be the topic of sex. It's not as taboo as it use to be when we were all younger. Heck, some of our parents never even gave us the sex talk. My parents gave me the sex talk, but some people had to learn from school or TV. Speaking of which, pop culture has influenced, as least I think so, the so called "90 day rule." It's a common topic of discussion on social media as well as in your daily life. Chances are, right now in your inner circle, somebody is dating someone new and the idea of sleeping with the person has crossed their mind. But is it too fast? What is too fast? Who put these rules on society?

If you have no clue what the 90 day rule is, I'm judging you, but just to give a quick explanation, it's the time you're supposed to sort of wait until you sleep with somebody. In other words, you should wait until after 3 months to sleep with someone. Regardless of your sexual orientation, this puts pressure on both sexes. Let's discuss the pressure on the sexes.

As far as females are concerned, you're afraid of being labeled all those names: a slut, hoe, whore, easy, etc. This is where intuition kicks in. Some people may be genuinely hard to read and you won't know their true intentions until after you sleep with them. The best advice for a female is to feel out the person, not literally, and see how it goes. And if this doesn't happen, it's not the end of world. Mistakes happen but this may also bring you two closer. Just don't make a habit of it because that's how nicknames will land on your plate.

I feel like men have gotten a bad rep when it comes to the whole "men are dogs and are after one thing only." Women can easily fall into that stereotype as well. Men at times may make the first move but fellas, if your partner hints at no, it's no. If they welcome it, then you're not to blame.

At the end of the day, you're going to sleep with someone regardless of this silly 90 day rule. And if it doesn't work out, you'll move on, but first you'll reflect about it. It doesn't make you more or less of a slut if you wait. Things won't work out and because you guys had sex too fast won't be the blame. You have to be a special kind of crazy to even follow this rule. I'm sure you saw Meagan Good in "Think Like A Man."



@TrueGodImmortal
I guess it is time for a male's perspective on this. Granted, my perspective is a bit different from the average person always, but I think this whole concept is absolutely foolish. A 90 day rule? Seriously? Well here's the first problem: in dating, rules can be limiting, at least when it comes to something as natural as sex. I remember shortly after the actual book that inspired the aforementioned "Think Like A Man" movie released, that this became a serious topic. I was pretty confused on how this was serious.

Ladies, a 90 day rule guarantees nothing. If you are currently seeing a guy who really just wants sex and nothing more, there is a possibility that he could very well stick around 90 days until he gets what he wants, then move on after. That rule didn't come in handy there now, did it? I'm a big believer in letting things organically develop, not controlling with a time rule for one of the most important parts of a relationship, sex. If we went on one date, and you genuinely enjoyed it, and we ended up having sex that night, so be it. If we ended up going on 3 dates over 15 days and had sex then, so be it. The timeline doesn't matter, what matters is that we both want it and both make the decision to do it as adults. .

Speaking from personal experience, I've actually ran into the 90 day rule in dating, and if I did, I think I would quickly remove myself from the situation. Its not that I'm only looking for sex, it's more so the fact that you think making someone wait 90 days for sex is a smart move. If you decide to make someone wait 90 days, you do it, and it doesn't work, then what? You could meet somebody tomorrow, have sex next week and be together for years. There are no rules to this. Just go with the flow. If you feel you are ready, then by all means have sex with the person. If you're not ready and it takes 90 days regularly, then so be it. However, a 90 day rule seems very unnecessary, and as Erika said, it is too influenced by pop culture. Do what makes you happy, not what a book or a rule told you. Oh, and P.S., fuck Steve Harvey... Good day.


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