Classic Battles: Loaded Lux vs Calicoe

By @TrueGodImmortal

Summer Madness 2. The stage was set for a huge night in battle rap as legends returned to battle the popular names of today on URL.  The most intriguing matchup on the card was Loaded Lux vs Calicoe. Calicoe, a battler out of Detroit, had previously defeated Math Hoffa the year before at Summer Madness 1, staking his claim as a force to be reckoned with. Lux, after years of absence, returned for his first battle in some time, and the hype was through the roof.

Lux arrived in a pair of Jordans and a suit, with a whole crew dressed in funeral gear as he made his way to the stage. Calicoe went first, coming out of the gate swinging with his best.


For the last 10 years them legends been living through us cause they got no voice/
Only reason they back in the URL is cause all their careers failed and they ain't got no choice/
That K clap/it'll push your shit way back/
You think them jewels rocky, that's why I'm taking 'em ASAP/
I got some shit that'll make a nigga lay flat/
The silencer on it, call it Pat cause it don't say jack/
You don't make the rules/ my niggas be shaking tools/
Make a move/ BOOM
His brains spread everywhere like breaking news/
No disrespect to y'all city but I'm just saying in my city
That type of shit right there don't even make the news/

*Loaded Lux
You Detroit niggas came to get divided/
But y’all gone always come together at funerals
You’ve even now decided/
But why is this done every time that the preacher signs in?/Well, it’s a sign in/
Look at all these portraits of my corpses, I’m just waiting on you niggas sizes/
I can have the pain/ in your pit paned into a twit frame/
Get Eminem to 8 mile by 10 it (tenant), or Royce to 5’9 it/
Though hip hop don’t need any more D’s niggas dying behind it/
You keep trying, but all you niggas is good for is deep frying/
They told your daddy, in him, a great gene was hiding/
Well he should’ve kept it in his jeans
Your life would’ve had a better fight on a bed sheet drying/

Rather than trying to beat the mind as deep as a mining African digging passages
Halfway into China to reap a diamond/ let me be honest/
When they break down every round that I’ve sketched, bouts/
There’s nothing tougher than smooth as the rusty tools in a shed house/
You niggas came here playing, it’s cool, but y’all gon leave giving head counts/
They didn’t even book you niggas rooms, I told em Harlem Hospital giving beds out/

So, Lux chokes in this round after a very short round. Unfortunately for Calicoe, Lux's shortened round is still a bit better than his whole round. Calicoe has a few dope moments in this round but it pales in comparison to the instant dopeness and advanced lyricism from Lux.


Y'all like wordplay?, aight fuck it I give em wordplay/ 
its Tuesday, I give him a week to pay me, but by the third day/ 
I'm showing up for that easy money, yeah you heard Jay/ 
he like its only Thursday/ 
I don't give a fuck what the herb say/ 
I'm letting that choppa rip em like an earthquake/ 
cause I just wanted a reason to kill him, I ain't want the money in the first place/

*Loaded Lux
That’s what happen when Smack, he don’t screen the clients/
All this work you put in and you get the same simple assignment/
And every time you line these niggas up, I got to do realignments/
And Beasley you lying/ these kids paid for a bout on the big stage,
And you gave em a rib cage, to feed sheep to lion/
Why wake the sleeping giant?/ With a need for diet/ a mean for green divided/
A rap league of tyrants/ and a child being defiant/

Talent show, this is God’s call/
Youngin you’ve gotta learn how this works – job core/
It’s hardball/ with an oddball/ when the shots you throw through do car door/ like it’s cardboard/
I feel like I’m at your mom’s door with a convoy full of armed boys from Darfur/

Can you see the difference between metaphors and real raps?/
How a nigga with metaphors can really rap?/
Your slogan? That shit a propped-up scheme for the skill you lack/
Now I get it, why you did it..../personal shit, why you digging/
But if you find any skeletons in my closet, nigga
Well, that should tell you how long it had bodies in it/

All that fake ass gun clapping/ “landslide,” that’s for caskets/
You know I KILL, you can read, everything in my bio, has it (biohazard)/
How did y’all disrespect god?
Ain’t it evil to live backwards?/
Let me bring that back ‘cause I need y’all to grasp it/
Ain’t it evil to live backwards?/

I’m just askin, what you thought?/
What ‘cause you had more battles than me, you dropped thirty in a couple of games
Nigga, I wasn’t even on the court/
Look, it ain’t about how many fights you had, it’s who you fought/

This what champions look like/ .and we don’t look like, you look light/
I’m Floyd to you boys battle verses,
You Jim Lampley, Larry Merch, nigga, you just talk a good fight/

Terraneo, you don’t know who terrain you on/
The conditions we done trained along/
traditions I was raised upon/
This new shit here for chumps/ that’s why I’m up here just doing what I want/
I used to battle on the roof, the loser had to jump/

If this seems a bit one sided, that's because it is. Calicoe's 2nd round was pretty light, as he spit a few good lines here and there, but nothing to truly grab your attention. After Lux's stumble and choke in the first round, Cal delivered with confidence, but almost had a choke/stumble of his own. Lux, on the other hand, returned with nothing but fire and delivered one of his greatest rounds ever. His 2nd round is one of the best 2nd rounds ever in URL history IMO, and his lyricism and delivery were beyond top notch. While someone could give Cal the 1st round off the fact that Lux choked, there is no denying that Lux bodied Cal in the 2nd round. Not to mention, Lux explained that his whole 2nd round was just the finishing of his actual 1st, and he had a separate 2nd verse that he released after, which can be seen below.


Them same niggas you was claiming as your pioneers/
Are the same niggas that was showing up and dying here/
What would have you did without that landslide, Easy was boring me/
What you woulda did without BALLGAME!, how could you work without priorities/
K-Shine zipped niggas up, when he got it clear/
DNA, tell Smack to get these old niggas the fuck outta here/

*Loaded Lux
I begged you, come get your thing popped at your cable/
Man shit, but since we couldn’t get your pops at the table/
If you’re able/ please tell em that hand that rules the world
That’s the one that’s finna rock your cradle/

The scenario, same death and style/ 
but why are your expressions foul?/
I get this feeling like, you feeling like what I said was down… low,
Like “yo, like, that was wild”/
But that’s funny, ‘cause I’m a little skepti-Cal/
Had my peoples investigate you pal/
Instagram for you Calicoe fans that have yet to browse/
July 17th, 8:40 PM, you posted up
Ah nigga you know what’s up, we kept the file/
You’ve got some explainin to do, can we address the crowd?/
Exhibit A
So that’s how Detroit gangstas do? Skinny dippin gone wild?/
Well we ain’t judgin though, you ain’t on trial/

You see, I take in mind your situation and though I never met your father, I see a lot of his ways in your stride/
I mean, you got that “talk it like I walk it” kind of attitude and you know it’s real good he gave you pride/
Every son should be proud of his father, and I look at my little one, and I want the same for mine/
That’s why when I look up at you, I see what he can go through when a father don’t take the time/

You think it’s gangster to let a mother love that dope more than her daughter?/
Shoot her father from his son and turn around and put that boy on the corner?/
Or leave your son out here alone to fend for himself, knowin he need order?/
Is your money being long worth your lifespan bein shorter?/
But I’m just tryna give you the large picture/
Your pops wasn’t no gangster, he was just another lost nigga/

If you are a huge battle rap fan, then you know that Lux's 3rd round is seen as one of the best ever. With Lux dissecting Cal through personals about his father and such, Lux closed the casket completely. Cal's 3rd started off great, then became slightly unfocused, even gaining some boos from the crowd. Lux painted his picture precisely with an image of Cal that was posted of him skinny dipping, which prompted Cal to utter the hilarious "we was skinny dipping with 6 bitches nigga, cause I get pussy" line. As the 3rd round closed, Lux uttered the infamous "You Gon Get This Work" line, as well as the legendary "Look at you, emotional" and "Look At Me King" line. Lux handily defeated Calicoe in this battle, and even if you gave Cal first round due to Lux's choke, the last 2 rounds were easily a win for Lux.

Winner: Loaded Lux



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