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DAR Sports: The Case Against Greg Oden

By @SpeedOnTheBeat

Spoiler Alert.

Quick! Name a big man who's flopped harder than LeBron James when no one's around him for five feet! You can give me a long list. Michael Olowokandi is one of these names. This guy was practically useless in the NBA. But, at least his nickname was kind of cool (Kandi Man). Pervis Ellison, although he isn't exactly a "big man" is another. Never Nervous Pervis fucked around and had some great years with Washington Bullets teams which had little to no real offense. Yay. But when he got to any other team? His only contribution was his Olowokandi Prime-esque hair.


But, none of these names beat today's draft pick screwjob. No, today's focus is a man who's probably played a grand total of a season over the course of an almost-eight year career (including time as a free agent/time being an injured sad sack). Today's focus is a guy who you'd be hard-pressed to, aside from Sam Bowie, find another draft pick who's flopped. Today's focus, he seems unable to learn from his mistakes. Yep. We're talking Greg "The Leg" Oden.


Now, this behemoth son-of-a-bitch, he was, apparently, already injury-prone. A CBS Sports article from 2010 highlights that he's been fucking around and breaking bones since the sixth grade. If I knew this going into the NBA Draft, I wouldn't care if he was supposed to be the next Michael Jordan, I'd steer clear. Note: I enjoyed his moments at Ohio State. 

But, no! Portland, and mid-2000s love of guys with injury problems (hi Brandon Roy), decided to take him first overall. He injures himself in practice and sits out his first year. Now, Blake Griffin also injured himself in his first few games. However, what differentiates Blake from Greg is this: Blake is good. He can heal. Etc. Etc.

As time went on, Oden, time and time again, got our hopes up that he wouldn't fuck around and be Mr. Glass again. Or, at least, contribute. And time and time again, he'd fuck around and become Mr. Glass again. This led to the alcoholism and whatnot. So, by the time that we get to his last active season in the NBA, we're looking at, again, a sad, tall man who probably can't even bend down without shattering his kneecap. And then comes the domestic violence accusations and guilty plea. You mean to tell me that this man who:

a) can't hoop to save his life at this point, it'd seem...
b) can't stay healthy to save his life and...
c) has severe depression issues is also (probably) a wife beater? 

At that point, Greg? It's time to just pack it in. Fuck basketball. Fuck your comebacks. Just about no team is willing to risk time and money on you, it'd seem. So, just get your head straight. I mean, even Ryan Leaf's pill-popping ass and JaMarcus Russell's syrup-drankin' ass seemed to have gotten it together. Just...get it together, man. I know I'm clowning the shit out of your career, but I just want to see you get it together before you off yourself. 

But, even then...Greg Oden is one of the biggest busts in NBA history.

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