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The Relationship Corner: How Important Is Sex In A Relationship?





Sex. Okay, now that I have your attention, there is a question of how important sex is in a relationship. Of course, we all have different sex drives and to some, sex doesn't matter at all. We gathered a few opinions today on the topic and we have some interesting answers and views. Let's get it started.




@TheTyraG
As much as people would love to deem sex in relationships as "not that important", I feel it has incredible importance. Would we seriously stay with or at least be faithful to someone who we can't have any or enough sex with? Honestly... We've all had "someone of interest".. And that interest usually begins with physical and sexual attraction and then the pursuit starts from there. Will we date people we have no interest in having sexual relations with? Who we aren't physically attracted to? More than likely not..

Let's imagine this hypothetical: You and your spouse have been married for quite a lengthy time. As the years pass, the number of times the two of you have sex gradually decrease.. Eventually ya'll stop having sex period. You're not exactly sure why.. Perhaps the flame has been put out? But regardless, you do not like it. You miss your sex life. Does this lack of sexual attraction mean the love between you and your spouse is dying? You start to question the continuation of your marriage.

Months pass.. Still no sex. You've discussed it with your spouse, but you continue receiving the response, "Not tonight." Divorce runs through your mind, but you think of the kids you have with your spouse.. You don't want to "ruin the family".. Are YOU wrong for wanting sex?

Tammy from work has been flirting with you for quite some time now.. One heated, orgasmic moment with her won't bite... right? I mean.. Your wife has been turning you down for what seems to be decades. She won't find out, right?

I mean, this is a hypothetical situation, but I've heard stories of such actually happening. It DOES happen. More than we know. Sex strengthens relationships.. brings intimacy.. build a connection of some sort. SEX IS IMPORTANT IN RELATIONSHIPS. The lack thereof can break it.

@drowsyhigh_
Sex is only as important in a relationship as the individuals make it. Sexual chemistry can make any relationship exciting and feel worthwhile, but if its the center of the entire relationship it won't last.

Great sex without the other aspects of a healthy relationship is better off as friends with benefits. Once the sex is over and you're left with your fully clothed partner, if you don't feel anything for them, then whats the point?  Relationships also CAN survive bad sex if you love the person you're with. Let's say you have sex a total of 7 hours a week; that leaves 161 hours that you're left with someone who loves and understands you mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. If you value those 7 hours of sex more than 161 hours of TLC you probably shouldn't date the person. Besides, if you're willing to teach I'm sure that they're willing to learn. If you KNOW you don't like a person enough to put up with mediocre sex, don't stay. If you don't like the way they kiss you, you won't like the way they fuck you. Tell them what you do like and tell them what you don't like and if you're not comfortable enough to share that with them, leave. At the end of the day it all comes down to whether you value sex or your partner more.

@Tariku__
Well, of course sex in general is deep to me. Expressing your love for your partner through sex is one of the main ingredients to a healthy relationship. The importance of it in a relationship is great, but it's not everything. I feel that people of my generation in particular base their relationships strongly on sex or sexual like "goals". It's normal to want to please your partner sexually, but don't make that the main goal for you and your partner to grow. Making sex everything to you in a relationship might cause it to become unhealthy because that mindset will probably cause your lover to think you only want them for that sole purpose. You should have a healthy balance of genuine love and wanting to please him/her not just sexually, but also mentally and spiritually.

@CurlsAndSports
As much as we want to not think that sex matters in a relationship, it does play a huge role in it. Having a healthy sex life is important, because as a couple, you come together in a different way. This exchange of bodily fluids is much more sacred than we all think. Having sex is an adult act in itself because it requires so much responsibility that often goes ignored. The fact that you take off your clothes in front of somebody else says that you're comfortable enough to get down and participate in sex. You two come together as one. Sure other things matter in your relationship, but once you take that step to have sex, there's no turning back because you have reached a new level in your relationship.

The first time you even have sex is nerve wrecking because you want to make sure everything is fireworks and not a bore. But what happens if the sex isn't what you expected? That shouldn't put a damper on your relationship. You should be able to express what you want and how you want it-there's no shame in that. Let's not pretend that sex isn't important in a relationship because it really is. Learn how to spicen it up in the bedroom.

@TrueGodImmortal
Sex is very important in a relationship. Its top 3 or 4 perhaps, in terms of importance. You could be attracted to someone and you still not have great sexual chemistry due to the person perhaps not being as open or as freaky as you are. There are a lot of attractive prudes in the world I'm sure. But I digress.

However, for me, I believe you should test out sexual chemistry before making a relationship official anyway. The importance in sex rests within the concept of it. The intimacy, the connecting of the bodies, the passion, everything that embodies great sex. A healthy sex life in a relationship does not override a genuine understanding or the work that goes into the relationship with communication and compromising, but it is very vital. Countless times, relationships have ended or went wrong because of sex not being a focus or lack of it. If you and your partner do have not a healthy sex life, the relationship will not work. Some people stay with their partner even if the sex is not good, but most are unhappy and some even participate in open relationships if their flame has gone out. They still love the person they are with, but if their sexual needs are not met, they seek elsewhere. Cheating can be seen as a sign of a lackluster sex life(though there are many more reasons for cheating than that apparently) as well.

To me, once you have the connection, the understanding, and such down, the sex is what matters next. Without good sex in your relationship, there is an element missing.

How important do you think sex is in a relationship? Let us know in the comments below and join the discussion.

-DAR

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