A Place Called Twitter: Benefits and Consequences of the DMs

The DMs... A place that can you lead you where you want to go or end up with you exposed on the TL trying to explain yourself for whatever reason. When I came up with this whole idea of "A Place Called Twitter", I knew that there were a few topics to touch on in this series. One of those had to be the "sliding in the DMs" topic. Without a doubt. For me, @TrueGodImmortal, I have always been curious to hear what others think about this whole concept. With anything, there are benefits and consequences, so today we gathered a group of people to discuss the DMs and what comes with it, good or bad. If you have never had a story in the DMs, or don't know about the usage of DMs, enjoy the read.

I remember when I got Twitter I didn't even know how to use DM's forthe first little while. I thought I'd never need it and I would never use it. Like ever. Now, I can't imagine not having it as an option. It serves a greater purpose, for things like "shooting shots" or privately talking about a post without drawing attention to it publicly or sending a public tweet or twitpic privately. It seems as though direct messaging has opened up our means of communication even more and has given most an extra sense of confidence. Much like everything else, this too has its good and bad points.

Personally, I feel like there are more advantages to direct messaging
than not. Things like sharing information you don't want public or continuing/starting more in depth convos, but I think the most "popular" reasons to use DMs is, that it's personal enough without having to give any real direct information. People can get a hold of you and only you, with no phone number, email address or any real personal info given. DMs also allow you unlimited space(now) to talk about any topic to a specific individual without being limited to 140 characters and/or being forced to have a conversation thread that is 45 tweets long. Then there's this "shoot your shot" craze...without
it, social media couples wouldn't happen as often or maybe would have never linked up at all. DMs give people a sense of confidence that may not have existed before. Think about it, on Twitter, the timelines are like loud crowded rooms filled with people, all talking at the same time and there you are trying to get one person's attention without making a complete fool of yourself. That's tough.

Direct messaging is like building a soundproof room in the middle of
all of that and taking the person who caught your eye in there to see if the interest is reciprocated...no background noise.

But then you have the disadvantages, really anyone you follow and who follows you back can hit you up and that's not always the best thing. There's no real way to keep the people you don't want contacting you out. You can't ignore the direct message either, you get the notification, the person knows this and your activity is seen so if you're ignoring someone...well, they will know or figure it out pretty quick. Another disadvantage is, since we do tend to be more open and unreserved, we risk having those private conversations
screenshotted and aired out on the timelines within minutes...this
becomes a deterrent. Unless you really know the person in real life and/or have some sort of friendship, you can't really trust them entirely. They may get information just to use elsewhere in some other context. And nobody wants that. Then there's the infamous "curve" which most times goes hand in hand with "shooting your shot"...I feel like it's become a "thing" to have people approach you only to curve them and publicly display it for others to see. Again, a huge deterrent. And OF COURSE, existing couples who worry about their significant other getting approached privately or approaching others, this has the potential to be catastrophic and probably the biggest disadvantage to direct messaging. Some people think DMs aid in infidelity and its potential. Especially with people who don't publicly announce their relationship status.

Like I said, taking all things into consideration, I think the advantages of having the option to direct message someone far exceeds the disadvantages. I think we all know the risks once you slide in someone's DM's...you're in their territory so how they want to respond and what they want to do is ultimately up to them.

DMing can be a gamble. Instant success, hit or miss, or you air ball. You can either get to know some really good people or have them ignore you (even block you). I've gambled in the DMs numerous times. Found some success. Got numbers, nudes, what have you. Definitely shot some air balls. Been exposed a couple of times for being "thirsty". In all honesty, it can be worth the gamble. I've "met" some amazing people through DMing. People to do business with as well. Getting to know people is the whole point of SOCIAL media. DMing is the gateway to that as far as Twitter goes and I support it. Remember, it's better to shoot your shot in the DMs than on the timeline.

DMs have a lot of pros and cons, it's crazy, especially knowing that something so minor as messaging someone can be life altering. The pros of it is that you can get to know someone better, on a more personal scale. There are people who I have DMed that I feel as though I've made life long friendships with and damn near poured their heart out to me for dming them. It's also good more so in a "sexual" manner when you want to show something off, but you know it's not meant for the TL. The cons are it can get you caught up and embarrass the hell out of you. There have been men that have DMed me with "certain things" who I've left embarrassed on their ass because they should've knew better. Hell, some men are married and be DMing people flirting and such knowing damn well what the consequences can be. So many people have been exposed from DMs because of the cons of it, but that shouldn't stop someone. Some people have even gotten married based solely off of DMing. Met their match in heaven off of DMs. Had children because of them DMing. But some people have also lost their jobs, marriages, friendships, and have certain reputations because of DMing. It's just honestly all about what you are DMing and WHO you DM it to.

The obvious benefit of sending a direct message is for the privacy of the whole thing. Where that can  can go wrong is when it gets exposed and the privacy you thought you had backfires. But for the most part it's a good thing I would say because you don't always want your conversations out in the open. Especially if you're doing some type of business with an artist of any sort or some type of executive. I think every social app should have a private messaging tool.

On one hand, I've met my ex of 7 years off and on from a simple dm. And the chick I'm with now also from a DM. Shit was/is better with them than most chicks I've been with that I met in person. Plus I've made some of my closest music homies from DMs. That is a perk that most don't talk about.

Sliding in DMs can both be a good and bad experience. Of course its determined by WHY you slid into the DMs but of course we know that. Now sliding in your DMs can reach an all time fucked up thing you've done if that DM "slide" lands you with someone in which you have a bad experience with, which can lead to resentment as a whole

I've seen how some people use DMs to expose others, whether their words or sometimes, their bodies, but unless you are just plain reckless, this could generally be avoided. Personally, I've never had to experience any consequences as a result of something said in the DMs. Instead, I've been told a lot of life stories by people who came in the DMs and started venting. People like to do that, in my experience. Those "Kanye on the TL but Drake in the DMs" tweets aren't too far off. You learn more about people. It's cool finding out, for example, that one follower from SF used to live here in the same city in South Africa. To me, the DMs have more pros than cons in the end. The spam annoying is though.

So DMing won't fade away until niggas eventually have to pay for twitter (b/c that's dead), but there are a lot of positives and plenty of negatives to go along with it. DMing anybody can go good, bad or get thrown on the TL, which ranges on the embarrassment level depending on what you hit so and so about. Personally, I don't see the point in exposing anybody for thirsting in the DM even if they are acting funny. I'm just not that type of dude, but the TL loves that drama shit so dudes/chicks (Ex - Twitter honeys, niggas that use too many emojis, the locals that are clowns etc) that want that attention do shit like that. Now, I done seen going in the DMS result in so much prosperous stuff whether it be a relationship, nudes, number, etc. It's all in your approach, intentions and finesse when going into the DMs of whoever. Stay safe and don't end up on the TL.

As an avid user of Twitter and an account holder of about 6 years, I've realized that DMing has become a chore. I honestly prefer to meet people in person or have a face to face conversation to meeting someone, taking down my Twitter and messaging me there, but it's the same thing every time I see that blue icon. BULLSHIT. Mostly men send the most irrelevant and/or irritating messages.. asking for "traps" or sending me their GarageBand mixtapes, that Netflix and chill shit, or just don't know how to hold a conversation. After midnight it's no better.. that's the "Let me drop filth in your DMs" hours.. which gets left unread on MY account. I can understand why men come in DMs with bullshit though, because when they try the nice guy approach, some basic bitch will screenshot it and say they're "thirsty" and blast them all over Twitter, which is fairly embarrassing. Or there's the annoying "slide in the DMs meme" jokes which is pretty much played out. I just don't understand why people can't just DM you and just say they either want to fuck or get to know you? The HONEST approach. The worst someone can say is no. With the chance some will probably say yes, you've saved so much more time than trying to play with a woman's emotions and get blasted or subbed later. The honest approach works TRUST ME. I met someone I ended up dating two years through the DMs, so anything is possible.

DMs to me are about as hit or miss as actually approaching women in the streets at the local store or mall. However social media, more so Twitter itself has just made DMs and even real life approaching a huge meta game of nonsensical shit for attention.

For benefits, I definitely can say it allows you access to far more women than what you'd more than likely come across in daily activities. If you both interact on the TL from time to time the process of DMing is pretty straight forward. Approaching via DMs gives a lot of guys and girls the equivalent of liquid courage to really speak to someone they otherwise wouldn't in person. I think this helps a lot of people get some confidence up and maybe lead to friends, situationships and relationships.

For consequences, there are a large number of them, but they all happen for various reasons with both men and women being in the wrong as well as certain societal problems. One roadblock I came across back in 2010 when I only had my account a year was that while DMs were easy actually approaching in person became harder for me. I was fresh out of high school and began broadening my likes in women in college.

Through DMs I could easily type up a witty sequences of flattering and humorous sentences to get their attention, but I had struggled to say the same thing in person. I do see alot more dudes with this very problem. No one really sits and talks when they approach, but more so a quick exchange of name and twitter info to DM. Its weird to see because that same process of being able to use your words and gestures to weave interest in a woman's mind has often been restricted to online only. Then you have the dude that will DM as soon as a girl follows back often with some rude or needlessly thirsty message. Even if you come correct it still can be received wrong simply because you havent even acknowledged her on the TL and can be seen as a secret.

With DMs it's also created this weird sense of entitlement in girls that they expect to be DMed the same way they demand to be approached in the streets. While there is nothing wrong with confidence, this confidence often becomes arrogance and leads to girls feeling bad if no one DMs them or they are bragging about how many men DM them with screenshots. Its created the equivalent of dick measuring contests in our women which is rather disturbing to observe. The girl who constantly claims how her DMs are broken or closed is often saying this because she either keeps getting DMed by the wrong guys or for attention in that weird hinting reverse psych process some girls practice. Eventually both men and women become rather antisocial and the only true interactions they have become via DM. While it's dope to meet and talk and maybe get with out of state women, I think people take it too seriously. In 10 years, we might have a whole generation of antisocial people who can't interact with the opposite sex without a screen between them or that people won't simply go out and meet others in person.

My experience with DMs has been rather interesting. Initially, I was always out and about in the streets and barely used the DMs outside of meaningless flirting to cure boredom. I never understood the concept of taking that whole thing serious. I mean, the days of Black Planet showed me what personal messages and interaction on a social network could bring(good ol' fashioned fun), but Twitter always seemed so... distant. Initially, I saw Twitter as a promotional tool more than anything else. I still think of it in this way as well, but I truly didn't know the power of DMs at the time. They could breakup a relationship, start a new one, change your life, get you business, help you professionally, etc. There are risks to DMing as others have mentioned and while I totally have experienced the consequences, the benefits seem to outweigh it.

I try not to put too much philosophicall thought into the concept of DMs and shooting your shot, I do offer some advice however: pick your shot wisely. You are given the opportunity to observe someone's opinions, their reactions, the way they carry themselves via TL and such. You can interact and even half flirt on the TL first just to see if that person is in the slight bit interested. That way, when you decide to shoot your shot, you have a better chance at being successful. Never shoot recklessly because that is likely how you end up with a screenshot on the TL. I personally don't believe in screenshots on the TL of someone trying to DM you, because that's just attention seeking, but plenty of people are into that. More power to them. In closing, the DMs are what you make them. Use them or don't use them. Choice is yours.

Have an opinion on the consequences and benefits of DMing? Leave it in the comments below.



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