The Relationship Corner: Surviving Arguments

By @CurlsAndSports & @TrueGodImmortal

After reading the title, you're probably thinking, "First argument? Man I'm on my tenth argument." When you first start dating your boyfriend or girlfriend, there are really no arguments because you're typically in your honeymoon stage. Everything is filled with smiles and laughter, but once you're over the two year period, you have a decent idea of who the one you love is. There are things you may hate or loathe rather, but you learn how to typically pick your battles. What does that mean really? In a nutshell, you would rather keep the peace than constantly argue. You see those couples in public who are quick to argue with each other? They need to pick their battles and not fight over everything.

Back to your first battle. That first argument will give you a taste of how passionate this person is. They will try to prove their point as will you. Now, depending if you're wrong, saying you're sorry is a tough thing for me personally, but I think it just makes us more human. You're able to recognize error and you own up to it. Now if the person is wrong and you're right, I'm not going to say to prove it, but this goes back to my point of picking your battles. You don't hate them. Your first argument, I believe, is in fact a good thing because it helps you see that we're not all perfect. I'm not saying to apologize when the other person may be wrong, but get your point across without offending is key. I'm a strong believer that you don't need to use curse words to get your point across.

You may walk away from the argument worried about your relationship and that's all normal. Who doesn't argue these days? How to survive and move on from this patch is important. I've created a few steps to help move on from it.

*Get your point across.

*Remember what got you two arguing in the first place. 

*Listen. You made your points and now it's time to listen to what the other party has to say.

*Come to an agreement and or apologize. Being in a relationship means that you'll have to take an L at times just for the sake of the relationship. Just keep in mind that this doesn't mean that you're the weaker one. This just means that you value your relationship more than this petty argument. 

*LET IT GO. Trust me, don't waste energy on negativity when it involves your relationship. That's how grudges develop so before you start to dwell, drop the topic. 

If these things don't really help, the issue might be you. You're going to have to learn that you don't have to be right all the time. In addition, if you're constantly arguing, it might be time to think about the relationship you're in.

Arguments in relationships are about as natural as anything else in a relationship. While some may think that's a bit much to say, I believe it's true. As a man, I don't really like to argue with women, because you end up in a lose-lose situation anyways. The first thing that bothers me about arguments in a relationship is usually how pointless it is to begin with. The arguments are always rooted in simplistic problems that can be solved with discussion amongst adults, however emotions run high, thus you'll run into people who go to arguments instantly.

I've never been the arguing type, but I also don't mind treating it like it's a debate so being an asshole, I might engage sometimes. However, the smartest thing is to objectively identify your problems and discuss them as such together and find a solution. An argument that is aimless doesn't nothing for either party and will only result in growing issues. If you're willing to take the blame or the loss in the argument, you'll definitely have an easier time, it just so happens that usually falls on us men unfortunately.

If both parties have the willingness to apologize and come to agreement, the argument is insignificant, unless you hold grudges, which could very well cause future arguments. It's all dependent on how you are as a person and what makes you tick overall in a relationship, but surviving that first big argument isn't going to be an issue if you're mature in how you approach it, and able to not blow something out of proportion. However, that proves to be tougher than usual these days for most. I remember my first argument in my last relationship, only because it kept getting brought up in future arguments. I feel like I didn't handle that first argument correctly and now I'll try to utilize it going forward. Learning is vital and key to the dating process.

Have any tips on surviving the first argument? Post them below in the comments.



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