DAR Dating: Saying No To Being A Bridesmaid

By @CurlsAndSports 

The excitement you feel when one of your friends gets engaged is definitely one of the most genuine feelings you'll experience. It's almost as if you're engaged too and you're ready to start helping your friend. But, before you jump the gun, make sure she's going to ask you to be a bridesmaid. In addition, there are some of us who think, "Fuck, she's going to ask me to be a bridesmaid". This brings me to today's topic: how to politely decline your friend's offer in regards to you being a bridesmaid. If she's a true friend or relative, she'll understand.

Before you say I do to the future bride, consider who she is marrying. I know this sentence sounds bitchy, but many people don't go to weddings because they don't know the future partner. That's a great rule to follow as opposed to being a free loader. But what do I mean by that exactly? It's nice to have a relationship with their spouse, you don't have to be buddy-buddy with them. If you don't have a slight relationship, are you supporting the bride more than her spouse? Possibly. Sometimes this is the case, but it's nice to have a relationship with your friend's significant other. So how would you go about saying no in this case? You're going to have to be straight up and let them know, "I wouldn't feel right being apart of your bridal party since I don't know your future spouse". It's a tough sentence to say out loud but think about it, honesty is the best policy. Besides, how the fuck do you look like being apart of this without knowing him or her? That's just as bad as meeting him or her on the day of the wedding. Trust me, you'll still be invited.

This next one should've been number one but I didn't want to overwhelm you that quickly. Money. You simply cannot afford the whole package that comes along with being a bridesmaid. You know it, I know it, President Obama knows it. Take a quick second and think about how many close lady friends you have. One study published said that some will attend between 2-3 weddings a year now. Weddings are also expensive for guests but since you're a bridesmaid, that's an extra expense. How would you handle this situation? There's no sugarcoating this, "Girl, I'm broke and cannot afford this wedding". This might be tough for the bride to understand and it might put a slight damper on the relationship, but you can reassure her that you'd rather listen to her discuss the wedding rather than being in this wedding party. If you regret it so be it, but chances are, you won't.

My next reason will make you giggle because it's probably crossed your mind. There are people that you cannot stand and you simply tolerate them out of courtesy. However, will you be apart of the wedding party once you find out that bitch Michelle you hate will also be there? By now, I'm sure the bride knows about your quarrels so she might expect you to be an adult. You could manage to put your differences aside for the bride but since you're petty, it's best that you avoid these situations and kindly decline the bridesmaid invite. How can you word this one? You could say this, "You know I cannot stand Michelle. I know you're expecting me to be an adult here but nah. I'll be there for you every step of the way but I'm looking to avoid conflict rather than spark it." It's a mouthful but it's the truth and you're trying to avoid catty situations. Again, honesty is the best policy. The bride will be sassy, but will be grateful because her bridal party doesn't need to be like an episode from The Bad Girls Club.

This next one will make you reflect on your track record. You're bridesmaid-out. By now, you've probably been apart of at least 2 weddings. You've attended cake tastings and gone to your share of wedding dress shops. If anything, you'd make a terrific wedding planner because you know pricing and what works. But similar to Jane in 27 Dresses, you're not tying to end up with a closet full of dresses you won't use again. Let's keep it real-you're not going to cut it and wear it short. You've been a bridesmaid too damn often and you don't want to do it again, or for at least a while. But you're willing to make an exception for someone who truly matters, like a cousin or a really close friend. The bride has probably seen your feed and knows that you've been a bridesmaid at least 3 times last year. You need a wedding break. Politely tell her that you need a break from the bridal party world. She'll have a good laugh and will be understandable. Hopefully.

You can always be someone that the bride turns to. If you're secure in your friendship, there should be no changes. Being apart of someone's bridal party shouldn't determine friendships. You're still a friend and have been since day 1. Just make sure to choose wisely and respond politely as well when this gets proposed. I'm sure you'll be supporting her from the sidelines. Has anyone asked you to be a bridesmaid?



Popular Posts